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Opinions Index:

Forgotten Australians

Giving "digital" photography a whole new meaning

A week can be a long time in politics

The Patron Saint of Battlers

Condiments of the Seasoning

A Day for All Australians

A Day for All Australians [©26/01/10]

Happy Holiday! Good luck with all the tossing - whether you are tossing gumboots in a paddock,
tossing thongs over the Hills Hoist, tossing snags onto the barbie... or are simply a tosser because
you can be.

If you are old enough, you might remember laughing at your grandparents' generation for
wearing long sleeves or wide brimmed hats, Dad 'n' Dave style, on hot days. And if you remember
that, you are probably aware that your parents' generation

• believed that once you peeled through the sunburn barrier and developed a tan, the sun could no longer harm you
• now spend an awful lot of time and money getting cancers burnt or cut from their skin - especially around the scalp, ears, face or hands.

My own relatively odd-shaped nose has a scar running across it from burning year after year, when I was a billy lid: I can only hope there'll still be somewhere to prop my specs when I'm too old or frail to do anything but read.

If you are not quite so old yet, please remember that even if you don't care about sun protection for yourself, young children are not able to make an informed choice for themselves.

From time to time, when kids bump into my 58 year old brother wearing shorts, they can't help but see a chunk of his leg is missing. This chunk went missing after he finally had that "funny" mole on his leg checked by a doctor. [At the very least, this might teach you to avoid doctors!]
I suspect he deliberately wears shorts - not so much to put people off their tucker, but so he can tell kids about the time he was a surfing champion, and attacked by a shark. [This yarn is a great attention-getter, and having getted the attention of some little tacker, he then asks "where's your hat?"]

Same old, Same old

As well as reporting all the thong-tossing and barbies, Australia Day is the day our media like to resurrect some old but vexing questions:

• Should Australia become a republic?
• Who knows the words to Advance Australia Fair?
• Should we change the flag?

The flag

On this day, in 1788, Captain Arthur Phillip raised the Union Jack at Sydney Cove, and claimed Australia for the British.
On this day - two hundred years later - Burnam Burnam planted the Aboriginal Flag on the beach at Dover, and claimed Britain for Aboriginal people. Not only did he have a valid point about Aboriginals celebrating January 26th, he also proved - if anyone needed proof - that Aboriginal people can have a great sense of irony.
Australia really became a nation on January 1st, 1901 - but we already have a holiday on January 1st, and God forbid we should lose a day off. Problems, problems...

I'd very much like to see the Union Jack removed from our flag, and replaced by both the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander flags - but there are some issues to consider first.

One of the most common objections to removing the Union Jack is that lots of Australian soldiers died fighting under this flag. Well, the current flag was only officially adopted by Australia in 1953. Most often, from the Boer War until the end of WWII, our men and women in uniform toiled under a Union Jack. If the flag is only about the ANZACS, then let's remember plenty of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders were among the Australians who fought as ANZACS. And while we are at it, for the sake of consistency, let's just wack New Zealand's flag on ours as well. [If the Kiwis think it's too soon to become an Australian state, then they should have the Maori flag in the corner of their flag, so the Canadians can tell which is whose.]

Another problem is that, when Harold Thomas designed the Aboriginal flag in 1970, I believe he originally designed it for Aboriginal people - not us gubbas. Fair enough, too. If Aboriginal people could not own their own land, or even their own history, this would be something they could own. Since then, Harold has been quoted as saying

When we looked back, a lot of people were ashamed of their Aboriginal identity, because of that suppression. Well, the flag kind of helped that.

They said, "At least, if I can wear it on myself, wear a T-shirt with it, or the colours, it's a signal to other people in the community I'm proud I'm Aboriginal, I'm proud to wear the colours." And that's important -- I like that. Now and again, I see a non-Aboriginal wear it, and that's even - good too. I enjoy that. It's not just exclusively Aboriginal. It's got a life of its own. It's everywhere. [a]

His copyright in the Aboriginal flag was recognised in 1997. That's the sticky bit... Perhaps we should ask Harold if he thinks it ought to be part of the Australian flag. Perhaps we should ask the rest of our Aboriginal friends as well.

The anthem

Our anthem, Advance Australia Fair, wasn't selected by referendum, but by plebiscite, which means someone asked some people which anthem they liked - and I'm cheesed off 'cos no one asked me.
The original lyrics were all about British Imperialism, and a blindingly White Australia.[b] The current anthem is better, but the lyrics are still trite, and the anthem associated - through its funereal "tune" - to the original. At the very least the title should be changed to Advance Australia Fair Go Mate.

I would prefer, for our anthem, I Am Australian, written by Bruce Woodley and Dobe Newton in 1987. [c]
Unfortunately, it wasn't written til after the plebiscite, but on the plus side, it's inclusive - unlike the pompous, preposterous preamble penned by that pretender to the Presidency, John Howard. [d]

The republic

Should we become a republic? Yes, but, reasonably enough, I'll keep voting NO to change until somebody makes a proposal that is exactly what I want. [Likewise for the anthem and the flag.]

Firstly, we don't need a President, any more than we need a Governor General with the power to dismiss a democratically elected government. We just need a way for the people to demand an election if they think somebody's out of control. [Okay, we have an army, like most countries, but there has to be a better alternative than military take-overs.]

The US President gets to travel and make lots of speeches and represent his country, but so what? Kevin Rudd is not only doing those things already: He has a lot more constitutional power to bring about change instead of just talking about it. [He might even introduce A Bill to Improve the Bill of Fare on Prime Ministerial Flights.]

I will ONLY vote for a republic when we get rid of the anachronistic, ineffectual and costly machines that pass for state governments.

And now it's time for the news

Tiger cheats on his wife. So what?

Brad and Angelina have probably split. So what?

Vegemite, that great Australian icon, now has a halal tick on it's label. So what?
This is NOT, as one newspaper correspondent suggested, "political correctness gone mad" - it's just good marketing.
And let's get real: the Kraft Australia company belongs to an American company - Australians don't own Vegemite, we just eat the stuff.

Kosher butchers have been around for as long as there have been observant Jews in this country. Halal butchers have been around for as long as there have been observant Muslims in this country. This has nothing to do with political correctness, and everything to do with freedom of [informed] choice. Like having the fat and sugar content, or an Australian Made logo, or a Heart Foundation tick on a food label.
As a [pre-Vatican 2] Catholic kid, I was not allowed to eat meat on Fridays. The question of whether Vegemite was purely a yeast extract or had some beef content was a great source of confusion. If the label had clearly stated "OK for Micks on Fridays", I could have eaten a lot more of the stuff. Who knows, I might have even grown two inches taller.

Take it from a tosser

Finally, back to the gumboot tossing. The trick to a good toss is simple - grab the top of the gumby with both hands, and spin around, hammer-throw style, before letting go. You might get dizzy and fall over. You might even let go at the wrong time and break a window - but by gum that boot will travel.

[a] http://www.abc.net.au/dimensions/dimensions_in_time/Transcripts/s513731.htm - back to opinion

[b] for both the original and the new lyrics, http://www.imagesaustralia.com/australiannationalanthem.htm - back to opinion

[c] for the lyrics, http://alldownunder.com/oz-u/songs/i-am-australian-17.htm - back to opinion

[d] for the text of the preamble, and of the republic question, http://www.curriculum.edu.au/cce/default.asp?id=9546
- back to opinion

Thanks for joining me today. Please email me if you would like to comment.

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Condiments of the Seasoning [©01/01/10]

Hello, and a happy and safe new year to everyone out there in mog-land!

For all the insanity that surrounds Christmas, it's great to send and receive the cards and letters that cause us to pause, and to think of all the people who are important in our lives. Just as rewarding, but a tad more exciting, are those occasions when we track down [or are found by] those with whom we have somehow lost touch.
And while we don't necessarily need the pressure of trying to achieve the impossible [like having a wonderful time with people we simply cannot get along with], Christmas can sometimes prompt an extra effort to spend time with those we are usually "too busy" for.

Hopefully, it is significant that the decade known as the "noughties" has come to an end, and we can look forward to a winding back of the "booze and battle" culture which seems to be holding the average, decent Australian hostage. Of course, this will only happen if those who engage in or "sell-air-britise" this idiocy are able to somehow select or sell a better set of values.

Resolutions, whether made because the year is new, or made at the time they most need to be made [sometimes a little sooner than January first] are always to be encouraged, for they show that most of us do reflect on our values and priorities, and strive to give meaning to our lives.
For all of you who make resolutions to change your lives - whenever you make them or however often you make them - I wish you great perseverance and success. Just do your best, again and again if necessary, and God will surely bless your effort.

Thanks for joining me today. Please email me if you would like to comment.

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Mary MacKillop - The Patron Saint of Battlers [©21/12/09]

We are about to have our own Australian Saint next year, when Mary MacKillop is canonised. This is a big deal, too, because she hasn't earned her elevation just by being born the illegitimate child of some renaissance Pope, or by being stoned to death like St Stephen, or a myth brought to life like St Christopher - Mary MacKillop qualified the "hard way" by being real to a contemporary, well educated, and possibly cynical church membership.

For far too long, it has seemed that to be a hero in Australia, a person must

• be a loser [like Ned Kelly] or
• a sporting great [like Don Bradman] or
• someone who has the approval of the cultural cringe fringe - and made the big time anywhere but Australia
  [as if succeeding in Australia is no big deal] or
• a "sell-air-brity" [i.e. any person who is famous for nothing more than increasing sales of newspapers or magazines]

There have been many great exceptions of course, though not always given the credit they deserve. Jim Stynes [who, despite his personal battles with cancer] is still "out there" giving to others. Fred Hollows, whose work continues through the foundation that bears his name, gave the gift of sight to many.
There are also many quiet achievers whose names we never hear, who are hard at it, day after day, giving generously of their time, or money or both.

I neither know nor care whether Mary MacKillop personally brought about the miraculous cures with which she is credited. Though I am glad for the people who were cured and their families, I'm inclined to believe in random chance more than I am in God.
So why am I so pleased she is about to be canonised? Because

Mary MacKillop had gallons of gumption.

The idea "drip-fed" to me during years of Catholic education is that God is at the top of the ladder, with The Pope and his delegates occupying the rung immediately below Him, and everybody else at the bottom.
Ordinary people should not trust themselves to interpret the word or will of God, but must be led by the "knows".
My greatest problem with this construct [what with me being just a girl and all] is that the people between me and God are all blokes. I could ask "what have they got that girls don't have?" - but the answer might only emphasise the human-ness of the hierarchy or, worse yet, point to the potential for the Priestly practice of pedophilia.

Mary MacKillop put her conscience before everything else. She put her faith in God before her faith in men wearing fancier dresses than she would ever own.
She liked the hocus pocus, but knew the importance of focus.
And as if to say "Bishops be buggered", she didn't let a little thing like excommunication stop her from helping the poor, she just got on with it. Mary truly lived to help others.

Ralph Waldo Emerson is credited with saying "Do the thing and you will have the power". It's unlikely Mary MacKillop ever heard this quote, but according to the magnet on my fridge, she grasped the idea herself, saying "Do your best and God will bless your effort." Her life story shows she did indeed do her best, and that her efforts were blessed. What more can we ask of a hero?

Thanks for joining me today. Please email me if you would like to comment.

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A week can be a long time in politics [©08/12/09]

Well, for Malcolm Turnbull it was a little more than a week - but now half the Abbott and Costello show is back, looking - in his surf-life-saving-club clobber - remarkably like Paul Hogan's offsider Strop. Forget the budgie smugglers; what is it with those funny little caps? [If you don't remember Strop, you can take a look at him by going to http://www.youtube.com/user/coupleofbob#p/a/u/1/RSITGixlMec]

Andrew Bolt [Herald Sun 2/12/09] has decided that organising fundraising concerts or wearing ribbons to support causes or raise consciousness - for example, about domestic violence - is just a lot of smug preening. It's a tad ironic that Andrew makes a living writing about [and presumably standing up for] his opinions, but disapproves of people standing up for their opinions. Or is he really implying that all the people he lists in the article are always acting insincerely?

It has often been said that if we are not part of a solution we are part of a problem. Martin Niemoller [1892-1984] explained that silence is itself a part of any major problem. [Let's not quibble about when he said it, or in which words exactly, because his point is still valid]:

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Australians are good people, and I'm proud that we're proud to stand up for what is right.

In the same Herald Sun article, Andrew takes another swipe at the apology made to the Stolen Generations. Then he takes a swipe at the apology to Forgotten Australians "for having been removed from lousy parents for their own safety." This comment is loaded with assumptions, not only about the parents, but about just how much better off children were when placed in care [Not!].
The care-leavers who fought so hard for this apology, or who were glad to hear it, are NOT a bunch of whining, ungrateful sods, as Andrew seems to imply. But I have already commented on this Forgotten Australians apology elsewhere in this mog.

Finally, last week I read that the government has cut the Medicare rebate for cataract surgery from $624 to $368. This will not only affect Indigenous Australians in remote areas, but all Australians in need of cataract surgery. Given the ageing of Australia's population, we should all be concerned by this decision. [See - I'm not committed to any particular party. In fact, I'm often horrified by the peurile point-scoring that passes for debate on either side of politics. I'm just concerned by issues and how well those issues are dealt with.]

Thanks for joining me today. Please email me if you would like to comment.

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Giving "Digital Photography" a Whole New Meaning:
Colonoscopies and Prostate Exams [©01/12/09]

If any first degree relative of yours has had bowel or colon cancer, and if you are 50 years of age or more, it is time to start thinking seriously about having a colonoscopy. [As if you could think about a colonoscopy any way other than seriously!]

In plain English, this means someone sticks a digital camera so far up your bottom you can transmit coded messages in the dark simply by opening and closing your mouth.
If you are a male and you do not like the idea of anyone sticking their finger up your bottom for a prostate exam, you might like to talk to your GP about the possibility of having a prostate exam done while you are anaesthetised for your colonoscopy - you can still have the exam digitally, but you won't feel a thing - not even embarrassment.

Having a colonoscopy is done as a "day procedure". This means you arrive at your local hospital at an appointed hour, and then wait what seems like a day in what is, oddly enough, known as a waiting room. Even if you only wait an extra two or three hours, this will feel like a day because you know what is about to happen.

Waiting provides you with a great opportunity to flip through lots of magazines and see what the royal family were doing ten years ago, or fix a crossword someone has already got wrong, or look at pictures of food you would like to try if someone hadn't already torn out the recipe.
A good way to avoid the long wait is to have a riveting book with you that you're dying to finish, and someone will come for you before you've read two pages.

An anaesthetist will knock you out - with drugs, not a mallet - then a gastroenterologist or other surgeon will take pictures of what is up your bottom: You are given a little time to recover from the anaesthetic or "come round" before going home the same day.

As you are coming around you can use your stupefied state as an excuse to trot out riddles from your childhood, such as

"What can go up a downpipe down, but can't go down a downpipe up?"

[Okay, if you really don't know, the answer is an umbrella.]

After your colonoscopy [and if you are male, perhaps a prostate exam] you will need someone else to pick you up and take you home as you won't be permitted to drive yourself after an anaesthetic.

David Barry's article on Bowel Preps is Really Moving

Before you have your colonoscopy, you must first prepare your bowel for photography. Some surgeons will prescribe a bowel prep that consists of a 44 gallon drum of glug which you are expected to drink in a very short space of time. Before you start preparing your bowel, I suggest you read David Barry's colonoscopy journal, which you will find at

www.wellsphere.com/stress-relief-article/dave-barrry-s-colonoscopy-journal/729714

Some surgeons automatically prescribe the 44 gallons of glug as bowel prep, but you can discuss with him/her the possibility of using an alternative. The last time I had a colonoscopy, I spoke to my friendly chemist and she gave me a product which was slightly more pleasant to drink, nowhere near the volume, and just as effective at cleaning me out totally before the procedure. [I mean cleaning out my bowel, not my pocket - the surgeon and anaesthetist can do that without the help of any bowel preps.]

If there is no family history, or if you get the all clear following a colonoscopy, you might discuss a Faecal Occult Blood Test [FOBT] with your surgeon or GP. This is a small kit which enables you to take several samples of water from your toilet bowl and send them away for analysis. No, you no longer have to destroy a perfectly good lunch box by saving big samples when you do big. If your FOBT results are clear you might avoid the unnecessary invasion of a yearly colonoscopy.

Mammograms

Most of us ladies know that nothing on earth can prepare a woman for her first mammogram, but for a laugh you can revisit the standard preparation instructions anyway, at

www.barbaralarkin.com/jokes/mammogram.html

Again, once you reach the age of about 50, as your body and hormone levels change, it is more and more likely that radiologists can get a clear "picture" of what is really happening inside your breasts. This is the primary reason - not just government scabbiness - that BreastScreening programs are aimed at women 50 and over.
Although younger women can and do get breast cancer, mammograms in younger women can be difficult to "read". Discuss your family history or personal concerns with your GP and insist that your concerns be taken seriously. If you need a mammogram at a younger age than 50, then you need one and that is all there is to it!

Breast Cysts

Breast cysts are very common, and they are uncomfortable, but many are NOT, generally speaking, cancers.
A mammogram can provide a good starting point for reassuring you if what is causing you discomfort is really only a simple breast cyst. Further, as most of these cysts are merely full of a clear fluid and are easily drained in seconds, you can obtain lasting relief as well as reassurance.

The importance of early detection and treatment

The earlier you detect a breast cancer, the better your chances of successful treatment.

Guys, on the other hand, need to be aware that once prostate cancer is diagnosed, it is harder to treat effectively than breast cancer. I don't know whether this is a statistical anomaly simply because men will behave as though they are dying if they have a runny nose, but you can cut their arm off and they will pretend nothing is wrong: Perhaps early treatments would be more effective if men had tests earlier, I don't know. If you are a male and need more pit stops on a long drive than the females in your life, get tested thoroughly and do it soon.

Please note that I have no medical qualifications and I am merely passing on a few tips I have picked up as a patient or relative of patients who have had various types of cancer.

Think of yourself and think of your other loved ones, and talk to your GP soon if you have been procrastinating.

Thank you for joining me today. Please email me if you would like to comment.

Guys, if you stick your head in the sand about the possibility of prostate cancer, the test just might be easier to administer!

Your feedback is always welcome - please click here to email me.

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Forgotten Australians [©15/11/09]

On 16th November 2009, the Prime Minister of Australia will formally say sorry to the care leavers of Australia. Mr Rudd has already made an apology [long overdue] to Aboriginal Australians, but why are the rest of us, non-Aboriginal Australians who have been in homes or orphanages or foster care, so excited?

To Aboriginal Australians, the business of saying "sorry" is not an apology in the traditional, Western sense. It is an acknowledgment that the whole business of being wrenched away from who and what we know and who and what we had come to believe we are is a horrid and extremely painful business, requiring sincere and heartfelt condolence.

As a white person I cannot experience the trials of being Aboriginal in Australia [no matter how much I might be distressed by what I see and hear]. Aboriginals cannot hide their colour the way I can conceal my own "differences" from the average Australian, such as my religion or politics or background, nor am I stereotyped simply because of my colour.
As my good friend "Kappit" has so often reminded me in a range of contexts, not everything is a competition.
Tomorrow's apology is not about saying "we had it as bad as you" to Aboriginals or about attempting to diminish in any way the experiences or consequences of the stolen generations.
The experiences of stolen generations were similar in some respects to those of white care leavers, and totally different in many others.
Tomorrow's apology is simply about acknowledging that, for many white Australians, being in care was not only a lottery in terms of the care given, it was also something that sucked big time.
The need for an apology to white care leavers is well captured by the expression "forgotten Australians", because the very existence of care leavers, their experiences, their problems and needs have been swept under the carpet for too long.

Bowlby on Separation
John Bowlby is widely regarded as the man who first recognised the significance to children of attachment to and separation from their mothers, and how these affect the lives of separated children.
Separation can take many forms, such as:

• being dumped in boarding schools;
• being betrayed within an apparently stable home; or
• the unthinkable displacement that follows military conflict.

For their own good

Separation also occurs, of course, when children are "rescued" from what are deemed to be bad home environments.
In the case of the stolen generations, the "justification" for taking children was simply a matter of race.
But what about those of us who are white? What were the assumptions behind the placement of children in care? What were the reasons for taking us and, more importantly, what were the planned benefits?

I have often been amazed by the widespread claim that Australia is built on "sound family values". For millennia, a family has been a unit which, above all else, defined a person's social and economic rights and responsibilities based on provable blood lines. The notion of a [nuclear] family unit consisting of two or three generations with a strong emotional bond is a relatively recent construct.

White Australia was built, initially, on British values, and the popular idea in Victorian Britain was that "children should be seen and not heard". Where possible children were salted away in nurseries, ignored by all except nannies and tutors, and only trotted out for display on appropriate occasions.
The middle classes, who could only afford to imitate the upper classes, were often similarly cold, distant, and demanding of disciplined behaviour.
Prior to this, during the industrial revolution, children were little more than factory fodder.

Aboriginal attitudes to children have been largely ignored until recent times - perhaps a logical extension of the way Aboriginal women were themselves ignored, by [mostly male] whites who assumed males would be representative of the whole group.*
From the little I have read, it seems we could have learned a thing or two from Aboriginals' attitudes to children, and this understanding could have spared a lot of stolen children a great deal of pain had we made the effort sooner. [Perhaps we still need to work on this understanding, if we want to improve the education outcomes of current Aboriginal generations.]

While there were some small numbers of Asians and non-Anglo European settlers in Australia from the mid 19th Century on, it was really only with Post-War immigration from non-Anglo Europe that Australians finally came to accept, more than once was the case, that it is okay to take children with them to restaurants or when visiting and so on, and we are now generally more tolerant, for example, of the screaming and tantrums which are part of a two-year old's job description.
It is now socially acceptable to "enjoy" children more, but that seems a recent phenomenon. In truth, children have not always been viewed by everybody in this country as an essential component of a single family unit, but rather as things, or at best, as potential people with as yet unformed feelings or personalities.

The so-called "British Migrant Children" sent here - in many instances told and believing the lies that they were either orphaned or unwanted or both - were merely pseudo-convicts: Unwanted by their mother country, they were viewed as potential workers by an Australia in desperate need of more [white] labour. Under this scheme, up to 150,000 children aged 3 to 14 were sent to Australia, Canada and New Zealand from WWII until as late as 1967. They were not migrants, they were exiles.

Another group, roughly 50 thousand in number, were Australian-born children placed in children's homes in the 20th Century, with this madness reaching its peak in the 1950s and '60s. Joanna Penglase has aptly labelled these "homies" as "orphans of the living".
Make no mistake: In many instances, children's homes were paid to take and care for children by otherwise wealthy and capable adults - simply to avoid the inconvenience of parenthood.
Of course, a large number of homies were removed from bad environments, but subsequently found themselves in far more horrific circumstances. Their stories are simply chilling.

Sadly, many rescued children are "missing", and will never have a chance to speak for themselves.

Personally, my experience of being in care was a brief one. It was exceptional in that I was treated well and, to this day, I recall personal kindnesses, especially from Matron Rolls. I was never physically abused. I was ultimately re-united with my [single] mother, and I know where I come from. My brothers and my extended family are very precious to me, and are special people in their own right.

Unlike so many others, I have been able to obtain a copy of my welfare file and it is actually filled with detail.

While Aboriginal people, even today, must fight and fight to prove themselves worthy if they wish to take in related children, it seems that in the 1960s any white relative was seen by the state as a great hope for offloading a burden. Once the state discovered that I had uncles and aunts, they were placed under enormous pressure to provide a home for me and my brothers, even when their own family circumstances made the notion patently ridiculous.

Welfare organisations are now slower to take custody of children. Contributing factors may include a backlash following release of the Bringing Them Home, Lost Innocents and Forgotten Australians reports, publicity about the awful conditions in many Irish institutions, and the 1992 release of the mini-series The Leaving of Liverpool.
We now acknowledge the potential for abuse in custodial situations, and realise that in many instances it's simply cheaper and saner to help people support their children at home rather than break up a family.

I am aware of one situation in 1968 where a 12 year old girl had already been living with a neighbour for 3 months following the sudden death - in dreadful circumstances - of the grandmother who had raised her. Despite nominating the neighbour as her preferred guardian, she was placed in "care" pending a custody decision after the sudden appearance of the long-estranged mother - a mother who had originally signed papers allowing the grandmother to legally adopt her newborn grand-daughter.
Placing this perfect innocent "in care" meant placing her in a dorm for over two and a half weeks with teens serving court sentences - most of them for aggressive or violent behaviour.
Her biological mother, on learning that the State Trustees would not transfer title of the grandmother's house to her, shot through before the custody hearing, and without visiting the daughter at all during her time "in care".
I wonder if this woman, placed "in care" as a child, looks back on this time in her life with any kind of fondness or gratitude?

I don't pretend to know what the alternative to care might be in some cases. I certainly hate the idea of children living with drug or alcohol addled parents, or being subject to physical or mental abuse. What I do know with great certainty is this: Being suddenly wrenched from who and what you know is devastating and its impact never leaves. Even where there is no abuse of any kind while in care, this experience of apparent abandonment shreds the soul, little by little, day after day, and the shredding never heals.
Many people have described this shredding more eloquently than I can. For example, CLAN co-founder Joanna Penglase reported one man "sobbing... as he described the impersonal living environment." "I don't know why I cry," he said, "...we weren't ill-treated."**

So, why do we cry? Why is this such a sorry business?

In care there develops, at the same time as a craving for intimacy, a desperate struggle for invisibility. Neither option is satisfactory. The lack of intimacy can be unbearable, but visibility carries with it the threat of attention, and attention the threat of abandonment.
While discipline might be balanced in a functional home by a certainty that one is treasured or accepted unconditionally, in a care situation attention most often results only when something is wrong.

Each change in living situation brings with it a new set of rules to discern and learn, each authority figure has their own set of rules, and the rules can and will be changed at random. Thus, one of the most significant lessons that a life in care can teach us is that we will never win. Defeat is inevitable; sustained effort pointless. A paralysis of purpose and cycle of failure sets in. Continued uncertainty about what this or that authority figure may expect can also lead to a child becoming "hyper-vigilant" - obsessed with reading and pleasing others, and devoid of any sense of self.

While children might crave invisibility out of fear, the powerlessness resulting from an absence of any sense of self creates a different feeling of invisibility - a frustration which can only express itself in rage. Rage directed inwards can lead to depression, alcohol or drug abuse, or a lack of any sense of purpose. Directed outwards, rage simply results in violence.
Of course, life in any dysfunctional home has many features in common with the experiences of Forgotten Australians, and, for the Stolen Generations, these outcomes are compounded by both the overt and covert racism with which they must still live today [of which I shall have more to say another day].

Many people leave care without a clue about how to establish or maintain a normal relationship with anyone, either in a workplace setting, or on a personal level. In care, the opportunities to develop relationships with ourselves, with friends, or even third parties, are severely restricted.
In care it is difficult to gain a realistic sense of proportion of how right or wrong the way we are treated really is, and difficult to know whether we have been damaged or are in need of help.

The expression "cold as charity" can be an overstatement of the temperature when we are constantly reminded of the gratitude we owe for things others take for granted.

Many of the organisations that once provided care have apologised to care leavers, but too many have not. Some of these organisations are providing support for care leavers, but too few and far too little.

The "C" word

I cannot speak for others, but I neither need nor deserve compensation for anything.

Compensation is a word bandied about - not by grasping victims - but by politicians and opinion-makers who like to cherry-pick their way through 220 years of [white colonial] history. They are happy to glory in past deeds [such as the insane slaughter of Gallipoli] when it suits them, while washing their hands of other unsavoury events or policies.
The lowest of the low have traded honesty for dollars, refusing to apologise on the grounds it might lead to compensation claims.
This is a moral absurdity when the common law concept of duty of care constitutes half of our legal system. It is a legal absurdity when successive governments, both State and Federal, have been progressively incorporating duty of care into statute law, effectively removing it from the sphere of common law where damages might be awarded.

At a macro level, the consequences of a care system which creates dysfunction or fails to correct it might not be easily measured in dollar terms, but the consequences are nonetheless very real for the economy, for employers, for the health system and for taxpayers.
Care leavers are dispropotionately unlikely to see things through, or easily establish workplace or emotional relationships. Other consequences or symptoms of out-of-home care can include drug or alcohol abuse, crime, mental illness and, of course, perpetuation of the problem through inadequate [experience of] parenting.

Too frequently, we still read horrific reports of children's welfare cases that have slipped under the radar, because the system is overloaded, underfunded, and lacking political commitment. When it comes to child welfare, what we value really is measured in dollar terms, and shown clearly in budget documents.
At the other end of the care journey - for those who survive - wait mental health systems which are laughable at best.
It's ironic that we can refuse to apologise for something that is patently true, on the grounds someone might demand compensation, and then indulge in the false economy that results from ignoring what we have done to our own.

I hope one day we will see a real end to the assumption that children from dysfunctional families - like convicts or "inferior" races - are devoid of feelings. I hope one day to live in an Australia where children are truly, universally cherished.
I hope one day it will no longer be assumed that children who have been in care - or simply ill-treated in a range of other home situations - will somehow know they must pull their socks up and get on with it, know how to pull their socks up, and know where to find a pair of socks to get started with.
For me, the best "compensation" would be to know that every Australian has access to the services and support they need from their own country - but I guess an apology is a start.

So tomorrow will be a day of celebration for many of us, when someone finally acknowledges that children can have value in Australia, and that the separation of children from their families is a sorry business.

To read more about this sorry business you might try:

• Googling Bowlby for a range of articles on attachment and separation issues;
• reading Orphans of the Living by Joanna Penglase, Curtin University Books 2005;
• reading The Long Way Home by Kate Shayler, Random House 1999;
• visiting http://www.clan.org.au/ where you will find excellent articles and useful information from the Care Leavers of Australia Network, and links to a range of local and overseas organisations for care leavers, adoptees and other victims of childhood abuse; or
• if you are an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander wanting to trace relatives etc I recommend you start by Googling Link Up. [Contacts tend to vary from State to State.]
• Bringing Them Home is the Senate Enquiry report into the Stolen [Aboriginal] Generations
• Lost Innocents is the Senate Enquiry report into British Child Migration
• Forgotten Australians is the Senate Enquiry report on Australians who experienced institutional or out-of-home care as children
  
  *We Are Bosses Ourselves, ed Fay Gale, Australian Institute of Aboriginal Studies Canberra 1983 provides a fascinating introduction to outsiders of the place of women and children in traditional Aboriginal Society

**this report is from The Age Good Weekend Supplement 14/10/2000

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